Supporting A Perfectionist Child
- Optima Therapies
- Nov 1, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 9
Parenting a perfectionist can feel like walking a tightrope—you want to encourage their drive without letting it go into self-criticism. It’s all about teaching them that being human is enough and mistakes are part of the deal. Here’s how you can help:
Model Self-Compassion
Be their role model for self-compassion. When you mess up (and you will), own it! Say something like, “I made a mistake, but that’s how I learn.” It shows them that perfection isn’t the goal—progress is.
Cheer for the Effort, Not the Win
Instead of saying, “You’re amazing for getting an A,” try, “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that project!” This shifts the focus from outcomes to what really matters—their grit, creativity, and determination.
Help Set Realistic Goals
Encourage your child to set achievable goals, breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable steps. Remind them that progress is more important than perfection.
Create a Safe Space for Mistakes
Give them opportunities to try new things without pressure. Encourage activities that are just for fun and exploration, rather than for mastery or performance. Big dreams are great, but it’s also important to keep things doable. Help your child set small, achievable goals and celebrate each step forward. Baby steps lead to big changes.
Teach Stress-Relief Techniques
Show them ways to relax and de-stress, like deep breathing, mindfulness, or doing something creative. This can help them handle feelings of pressure or disappointment more constructively.
Encourage Self-Reflection
When they feel frustrated with themselves, ask open-ended questions like, "What do you think went well?" or "What did you enjoy about the process?" to help them focus on positives beyond the final result.
Emphasize Growth Over Perfection
Reinforce the idea that mistakes are learning opportunities. Share stories about famous people or experiences where setbacks led to growth, showing that even successful people aren’t perfect.
Professional Help
Seeking professional help when needed is a step towards maintaining good mental health and overall well-being. Professional help can come in various forms, such as therapy, counseling, or psychiatric treatment, depending on the individual's specific needs.
